Memories

Yesterday I was cleaning and re-organizing my stuff that is in boxes. Let me just say it hasn't been done since I packed all just about 6 years ago before I left for college. So a much needed cleaning was in order. While I was cleaning I found things I didn't know or remember writing and I found a picture I had not ever remember being in or owning. This picture was from when my family and I were in San Fran and took the tour of Alcatraz. I almost cried when I looked because my brother was in the picture. But I took a deep breath and realized it was all okay. I thought how it is exciting to have another picture of him even one I didn't know existed. As I kept cleaning and organizing I thought about that picture. Then it got me to thinking how I believe it was a sign from God. I say this because for the past few days I have kept trying to tell myself that I am now an only child and Conor is physically gone from this world. But I think God was trying to prove me wrong. I think He was trying to show me that Conor is still here through memories and pictures. I know God is not saying Conor's physical body isn't here but He is saying that Conor will always be apart of my life through old and new memories. This helps me to know that even at Christmas or other holidays Conor will live in our hearts and is among us. I also believe he is in heaven looking down with a smile knowing I remember him and that I know he will forever be loved.
I feel each day I learn something new through this grief process and I honestly can say I look forward to all that God is going to teach me. I know it wont be easy and I know its going to be hard but I know its all worth it if I am fulfilling the great commission and living out the will of God. Well until next time!